You Don't Like My Cooking?
by CarrotUndASchtick
Summary: England makes America scones, but America rejects them. England decides he's going to show America just how good of a cook he is by making something different then scones. How will it turn out? Sucky summary, I know. Contains/will contain: gore, cupcakes, 2p!England, and the worst of all...1p!England's scones. Just kidding, I love scones.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I am on a role this week! Yeah, gonna start a new story! This came to my mind when me and my friends were RPing. I'm the England so I get a lot of "Flying Mint Bunny isn't real!" and "Your cooking sucks!". But when I do things useful I get the opposite xD like when I 'win things for the team' they'll say that she IS real and that I CAN cook. It's awesome. Anyway, I hope you like it :)

England was reading a book with a scowl on his face. He'd just made scones for America and America had turned them down saying "Drop dead, England!" and ran away laughing that annoying laugh of his. If only he knew how much that hurt England. England _**knew**_ he was a good cook, if only he could show America! England closed the book and set it down. He went over to his computer and began to look up recipes _'Wait a minute. What can I even make America?' _he asked himself, _'He always turns down my scones, and my fish and chips...and just about everything else...I know! I'll make him something sweet! Not like he needs any more sweets in his diet, but what else is there?!' _he pondered what kind of sweet he could make that consisted of ingredients he already possessed, not really wanting to go out to buy some.

"I know! Cupcakes!"

He said aloud this time. He entered 'cupcake recipes' into the search bar and pressed enter*. He was going to make the _**best**_ cupcakes America's **_ever_** had or **_die_****_trying!_**

A/N: I know, short chapter, but it's kind of like an introduction, or a prologue, or whatever you wanna call it. Anyway, I hope you liked what I have so far, and if you did, please tell me in...a review! :D Oh, and tips sugestions and stuff like that are welcome with open arms! I'm not kidding. I'm fifty percent sure as to where this is going :/ anyway, GOOD BYE! And don't forget to be AWESOME!

* - I pictured him using Google


	2. A New Ingredient

A/N: Hello there! I got some pretty good feedback from the last chapter, only one review but I DID get a follower or two, can't remember how many and I'm too lazy to go check. Anyways, the review I got was a suggestion! I may or may not use it, but I do heavily appreciate it. It means someone cares enough to waste their time to tell me these things! Thank you! If I don't use it, it isn't because it's awful, it's because I either got _lazy_ and need to have my brain shoved back into my head, or I didn't know how to use it in the story. It actually wasn't all that bad. I love suggestions. They make the gears in my head start whirling around. They form steam. The steam smells terrible but I almost always get an idea from them. this is most likely going to be a short story. And THIS AUTHORS NOTE IS TOO LONG! ON WITH THE STORY!

England was in the kitchen now. Getting all the ingredients ready. He'd found the recipe online, obviously, but was going to add a few extra things in there. Most of it was random things he grabbed out of his pantry and fridge, the other half was stuff his fairy friends gave him, saying it was edible. He looked from the recipe to his work to make sure he was doing **_everything _**right. It had to be **_perfect! _**If it wasn't, America won't like it, and England would be very sad.

After following the recipe to a T, they were finally done, England put them on a cooling rack and began the icing. Most of the ingredients his friends gave him went into the icing. He didn't use all of the ingredients, obviously. What if they weren't perfect?! He wouldn't have any ingredients!

After finishing the icing and decorating the cupcakes, England went into his living room, he was tired. Before he got from the kitchen to the living room, however, he passed a mirror. Catching a glimpse of himself, he backtracked, surprised by what he saw. He looked the same, but not really, his hair was turning a light shade of pink! And his eyes were blue! But not a blue like America's, more like a baby blue, and when he looked really closely, he could see swirls of pink, too! And he was even starting to get freckles.

"What's happening to me...?"

"Britain!"

"Gahh!"

England swirled around and was faced with an all too familiar sight. France.

"F-France! What are you doing here!"

"I came to make sure you hadn't drowned in your own tears, of course! Wait, what happened to you? You look different..."

France walked up to England and put his hands on his cheeks, taking a closer look at the Brit.

"Nothing! D-don't touch me, you pervert!"

England hit his hands away and took a step back.

"Britain..."

France took a step towards him and England took another step back, his back hit the wall and he knew he was dead...I mean, France wasn't threatening to kill him or anything but, this was France we're talking about...

"Britain, please, tell what's wrong..."

"N-no! Nothings wrong!"

"Somethings wrong, Britain, I've known you too long to believe that..."

England didn't want to tell France but knew he had too...England could feel tears brimming his eyes as he tried to hold them in. But, being the cry baby he tends to be, England broke down and cried and France tried to comfort him...

"Britain..."

"I *sob* tried so *sob* hard!"

"What do you mean?"

"I-I made some sc-scones for America and h-he rejected them!"

"Oh..."

"So I th-thought if I made so-something different h-he would like them..."

"What did you make?"

"I made cupcakes..."

"..."

"France...can I ask a favor of you?"

"What is it?"

"C-could you, maybe try one...a-and tell me what you think?"

"..."

"Please, France, Please! I need to know if they're any good before giving them to America!"

"...*sigh* ok...I'll try them..."

"thank you!"

England did something France never thought he'd do*, he hugged him. France stood there, mouth hanging open, completely shocked. After a few moments France hugged him back. He also slipped his phone out and took a picture of England hugging him.

England let go and ran into the kitchen, he came out bearing a pink and blue cupcake...France just stared at it, wishing he'd said 'no'. But if he had said 'no' England would just cry more. He slowly took it and brought it to his mouth; he was just about to take a bite when something stopped him...

"What kind of cupcake is this, Britain?"

"...Ch-chocolate...why...?"

"Nothing...just wondering..."

France was just about to take a bite, he was trying to keep himself from talking himself out of it, he looked at England and saw his hopeful eyes, with a sigh, he quickly took a bite and got it over with; he chewed it and swallowed and looked back to England who was waiting patiently for his reply.

"It- it isn't that bad..."

"It isn't that bad?"

"yeah, it's pretty good, actually, I'm surprised, Britain.."

"Awww man.."

"What's the matter?"

"It's supposed to be **_perfect!_**"

"O-oh..."

"Now I have to make another batch..."

"Y-you don't need to d-"

**"Yes I do!"**

"England...y-you're staring to scare me..."

**"I don't care!"**

Now France was the one that was scared; England started slowly walking towards him. Every one step France took towards the door, was two steps England took towards France.

"England...wh-what are you doing...?

"I think I just found a new ingredient..."

"L-like what?"

France's back hit the wall and England got in nice and close and whispered into his ear,

"You."

"W-what?"

"You heard me. You. I bet you'd make the **_perfect _**cupcakes."

"Oh!"

_'He just wants help making cupcakes?'_

"Mon Dieu, England, why didn't you just say so?"

"Hehe...sorry..."

"Come on then, let's get started."

"Haha! Ok!"

"What's so funny?"

"You'll see..."

"Fine then."

France took the man's hand and led him into the kitchen, not noticing the wicked smile on his face or the frying pan he took off it's hook...

"Now, let's-*BONK!*

And France was out like a light. England gently put the pan on the counter and got down on his knees. He gingerly poked his leg; no answer. He smiled sweetly at France's lovely 'gift'.

"Thank you, France!"

England went to get a knife; he looked at his reflection on the blade absent mindedly. What he saw, was not England...

It was a mad man. There wasn't a hint of blonde in his hair nor green in his eyes. His cheeks and nose were covered with freckles. He stared at himself a bit longer and smiled crazily...he was so close to making the **perfect** cupcakes for America...

A/N: PHEW! I worked SO HARD on this chapter! Tell me what you thought of it! :D

* - I don't know if England ever hugged France.


	3. Chapter Three: The Perfect Cupcakes

A/N: HELLO! Guess what! I found out that France calls England 'Angleterre'. Oops. I'll fix that later. Here ya go

* * *

England whipped his brow, he'd chosen to not get blood on his floors, and was moving France's unconscious body to the dinning room table, also wanting some elevation. There was just one thing: France was heavy.

"Finally! I thought I'd never get you in here, France." England exclaimed as he put France down on the table. One of the reasons as to why France was so heavy was because he's just plain bigger than England. But he'd done it. Now he can get started.

England took a sip/swig of his tea, picked his knife up, cut France's shirt open down the middle, and went to work. He started by putting the blade to his chest and dragging it down to his belly. France started to stir as England did this, but he didn't notice. After he was done doing this, he started to peel the skin away; which, of course, woke France up. He sat bolt right up screaming bloody murder, almost causing England to drop the knife. He growled in frustration and shoved the knife right into France's throat, silencing him forever. England merely took another swig of his tea and went back to his work.

After pealing his skin away, he began painstakingly pulling out all of the organs and putting them in a large bowl. After gathering them all, he took the bowl into the kitchen, set it down, took a wet rag, and went to clean the huge mess he'd made.

After finally cleaning up all the blood England went back into the kitchen and got to work on the cupcakes. He's sure this newly found ingredient will make them _perfect._

He put the cupcake tin in the oven, set the timer, went into his living room, and flopped down on the couch, utterly exhausted.

England is startled awake from the sound of the timer going off. He gets up, takes the cupcakes out of the oven, and put them on the cooling rack.

After the cupcakes cooled down a bit England began on the icing.

The cupcakes are finally done and decorated. Now all he has to do is wait for tomorrow so he can give them to America. England knew America would love them.

Wait a minute. When was the last time England ate? This morning. What time is it now? 10:20 P.M. England's starving! He better eat something and head off to bed.

* * *

A/N: Terrible chapter is terrible. I know. Use your imagination as to what England had for dinner. Good bye! :D Don't forget to be AWESOME! And review already! Goodness!


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